Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
