Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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