dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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