I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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