doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
