Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm at about main and main street
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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