She's JV to your varsity
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
