i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
