This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
