Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
