my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
