so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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