There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
