I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
