There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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