I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
