She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
