I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
