I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
