I smell stomach acid.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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