Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
