"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
