I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
