WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
