Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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