My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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