I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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