I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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