Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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