You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
