There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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