I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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