I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
