in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
