Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
