Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
