Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
