how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
