we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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