he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I love you.
Bad choice
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