i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
