Having a random hookup so left but love u
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
