omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
