Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
