so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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