Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
