you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
BRING THE BAGELS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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