just come out here and I will go home with you...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have tasted many bathrooms
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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