Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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