I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
did i walk over a car last night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
