At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
