I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
